Twenty-five years after saying “I do”.
How does one commit to the rest of your life with one person?
Twenty five years ago as a 25-year-old law school graduate, there was only one certainty in my life. I didn’t want to practice law.
No, three years and tens of thousands of dollars later — the thought of practicing law produced panic attacks. Three to be exact.
Then there was my law school boyfriend who thought it was time for us to marry.
A date was set and invitations ordered.
As my body calmly unwrapped glistening silver paper to reveal china plates and crystal stemware destined to be placed on a shelf and never seen again, my insides spasm-ed about like a brown moth caught in the grimy clutches of a five year old.
Between interviews for jobs at financial institutions and PR firms, working at a mall kiosk selling t-shirts and wondering if I ought to take a fashion design course, I was supposed to get married and officially start my adult life.
Maybe I’ll become a professional napper? Not rapper. Napper as in to nap. I excelled at going comatose during the four most productive hours of a work day.
What if I never found what it is that I was supposed to do in life?
How do I know I’m supposed to marry this guy?
What if a giant tidal wave hit in the middle of the night the week were were vacationing at the beach?
One day leading up to the big day, I had this thought. It came in the form of a question.
Is there any person who you’d rather wake up with and spend the day other than John Miles?
After twisting and turning that poser more ways than a Rubik’s cube, the only answer I could come up with was — no there wasn’t.
We definitely had way too much fun.
When I was with him I forgot that I had no aim in life.
Forgot that after three years of law school, the apex of my employment history was selling BAD ATTITUDE UNIVERSITY sweatshirts in the mall.
And I wept with great relief when I realized all I needed to do was strap a boogie board to my wrist when sleeping a quarter mile from large bodies of water.
I didn’t have to have everything figured out.
It’s funny. Now that we’ve been married 25 years, I realize that some of the reasons my husband is so perfect for me had never occurred to me when we said “I do”.
My husband lets me be messy, creative, goofy, babble-at-the-mouth-about-nothing me. If I had married someone who demanded the house not look like a crack house on COPS, that meals be served at a certain time and temperature or that I look a certain way (as in presentable), he would have crushed my spirit as a nine year old takes glee from pouring salt onto a garden slug.
He doesn’t think my creative endeavors silly. Not particularly profitable, yes — but silly, no.
And there’s still no one I’d rather wake up and spend the day with but my John.
Yes, 25 years after saying “I do” — I’m most thankful that I did.
🙂 Happy Anniversary!
Happy 25 years! How blessed you are to be so happy and to have this realization. I feel like some of us get stuck in the box of how things are supposed and forget all about our happiness in the process somehow. So happy to hear that you found yours! 🙂
Happy Anniversary! I sort of know the feeling. I spent 30 years in the Navy not knowing what I wanted to do. I still don’t.
Happy anniversary!!
Happy Happy anniversary! Yay for John!
love you smell.
Wow. We’re not even half-way there! Congrats!
Love it!
Congratulations!
He’s a keeper. 🙂
xo
“a crack house on COPS”—that is a FUNNY image and only because I know exactly what you mean!! Loved this post and am so glad that you are still happy you made the decision to marry this man who lets you be YOU. Congratulations!!!
I know. Twenty-five years — that’s for old people. I can’t believe we are there Kristin but before you know it you have a 20 year old and have been married 25 years.
That’s beautiful. I can really relate — it’s wonderful being married to someone who doesn’t care if I have everything (or anything) figured out. Nice post!! Happy anniversary!
Congratulations! I relate to this on, oh, every point. Beautifully said. 🙂
We just had our 23rd anniversary, though we’ve known one another for more than 50 years. The right one makes life good. Congratulations and may you have 25 more. At least.
Congratulations! I know that feeling of not wanting to wake up with anyone else so well.
Yes Bill. I don’t think everyone goes through life feeling that way. A blessing no doubt.
“Is there any person who you’d rather wake up with and spend the day”
I love this question because really, it just cuts right to the heart of why we choose the partners we choose. Everything else is really just background noise. Love this, and congratulations on 25 years.
It’s always kind of made sense to me Sam. 🙂 One day at a time.
This is such a beautiful, funny piece. “Grimy clutches of a five-year old”! “Crack house on COPS”! Yes.
So sweet! And happy anniversary!
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Love this post! Happy Anniversary. So happy you picked the right man or rather you agreed to marry him. xoxo
Ha. Most definitely the latter, Tiffani. Not saying “I do” would have been the biggest mistake of my life.
I’m late to the anniversary party but I hope it was a happy one! And what a beautiful post to honor the occasion and your very special partnership. Pieces like this give me so much relationship optimism. (Can’t say I blame you for eschewing the practice of law!)